TONITE: Heart & Soul Chat about Vegetarianism

TONITE: Heart & Soul Chat About Vegetarianism

An Exercise in Social Wellness: Active Listening

I am experiencing one of my biggest lessons atm- how to truly listen to another person; how to listen with empathy and compassion, how to listen without waiting for my turn to speak, how not to project my own reality on to someone elses.

And just let me tell you: it's friggin' hard!

I am in the midst of planning events for Vegetarian Awareness Month, most specifically a Vegetarian Restaurant Week. The person I am co-producing it with and I are very excited to be doing this-both because this is a national event we're spearheading and also because it's very last minute. Last minute as in she brought up the idea 2 weeks ago and I said sure, let's do it!

My Aries tendencies will get me in trouble one day.

Unless you're super-organized and have a lot of contacts to pull of this kind of event, don't try and organize an event of this size in less than 3 months.

My adrenals are working overtime.

While I work extremely well under pressure, I have difficulty working with other people.
I know a little bit about everything and if you just left me alone it would get done. On time. I'll come to you when I need you, thanks!

So, naturally, I have issues when working with someone else's idea.

The easiest way to slow down a project is to have a breakdown in communications.

This week's exercise is to practice listening.

Here's how it works:

1. If you're face to face, maintain eye contact.
2. Whatever you're doing, you should just be listening-nothing else should be going on, no reading, no cooking, no tv, etc., unless the person you're listening to is dictating something for you to write down.
3. Allow the other person to complete their sentence/thought before you respond.
4. Don't project your history onto the person, i.e. "that same thing happened to me!" or, "let me tell you about..."Unless you're swapping war stories, think about whether the person really wants to hear you, or if they want to be heard.

The key here is, first understand, then seek to be understood.

And then let me know how it goes.

Social Wellness through Yoga, or Come to My Yoga Social!

The study and practice of Yoga leads us to an understanding of and commitment to service, among other virtues.

Yoga teachers and studios are encouraged (though not necessarily required) to participate in Karma Yoga (The Yoga of Action), by offering a class for free or by donation.

As a longtime volunteer at various NYC non-profits, I was excited to be able to practice Karma Yoga as an extension of my private practice.

On Saturday, September 15th, I will be leading a Community Yoga Class, followed by a Yoga Social.

The Community Yoga Class is open to all levels of experience and all body types.

The suggested donation for the class is $7, but students are welcome to pay any amount. Contributions support the studio (and me!), but no one will be turned away for nonpayment.

The Yoga Social, my newest adventure, is to take the practice of Yoga off the mat. The Social will begin with a short set and meditation, followed by the opportunity to meet and mingle with other attendees, and will end with a Gong Meditation.

Details are to your right, or by clicking here.

If you are a non-profit or know a non-profit looking for fundraising opportunities, consider yoga to help you reach your goals. Visit The Yoga of Action to learn more.

An Exercise in Social Wellness: Smiling

Hello Darling!

You're assignment, should you choose to accept it, is an unscientific social experiment.

Tools:

Your face
A journal or blog for recording your observations is optional.

The experiment:

For one day, smile at everyone who makes eye contact with you. A genuine smile, if you can muster one up.

Make it look like you're happy to see that person alive, even if you don't know them.

That's it.

You don't have to do anything more, unless you want to.

Just flash those pearls, and keep it moving.

Observe:

People's reactions.

Notice how many people return the smile, look confused, lengthen the distance between you and them, speak, and whatever else self-conscious humans will do.

Then, notice how you felt after each encounter.

What expectations did you bring to this?

How did it make you feel when people smiled or didn't smile back?

Did you get upset when people didn't respond the way you expected them to?

How did smiling at everyone affect your well-being, even when you didn't particularly feel like doing it?

What else did you observe?

The goal:

One of the fundamentals of Social Wellness is to radically accept that people are people, not our versions of what they should be. The goal of this exercise is to show you how to start the process of unconditional acceptance-giving without the expectation of a return-on any level.

Smile to smile, because you can, and eventually want to.

Oh, and, there's no grade for this assignment, no pass/fail.

But it would be cool if you posted your obversations here.

Are you Antisocial, Asocial, Introverted, or just Shy?

What do these four terms have in common?

Isolation-deliberate or unintentional, with varying degrees.

While we tend to use these terms interchangeably, they have very different meanings.

Take a look at the descriptions below to help you notice the signs of each before (mis)labeling your behavior or someone else’s.

An anti-social person displays a blatant disregard, indifference, and/or hostility towards others, especially concerning social rules and cultural standards. The anti-social person is often impulsive and ignores the rights and feelings others.

The term antisocial is applied to a psychiatric condition formally called Antisocial Personality Disorder. Persons with this disorder, mostly men, express a limited range of human emotions, lack empathy, and generally experience feelings of emptiness or void.

An asocial person, also called a loner, often feels they have no connection to mainstream society and culture, or feels that mainstream society or culture shuns them.

Sometimes, an asocial person will purposely refuse social interaction due to perceived superiority over others, specific or broad, so they will have few relationships, intimate or platonic. Asocial people with a superiority complex will pick and choose the people they want to be around.

Introversion is a state of isolation that is mostly by choice. An introvert prefers solitary activities like reading, artistic endeavors, writing, and similar activities. They find less pleasure and reward in group interaction, instead choosing to participate in small gatherings or none at all. Group activity can sometimes be overstimulating for introverts, and enjoy quiet introspection over lively conversation.

Shyness is marked by apprehension or lack of confidence in social situations. Shyness has varying degrees of expression and situations. A person who displays shyness generally does so in unfamiliar environments and/or with unfamiliar people. A person can exhibit boldness and confidence as an actor or public speaker, but may find it difficult to engage in interviews or other one-on-one interactions. The reverse can also be true.

Shyness is sometimes the result of upbringing, where the individual was not encouraged to or had limited social interaction.

Now, how to tell which one is you:

If you think about killing your boss and a few coworkers every now and again, you may just be overstressed and are long overdue for a vacation.

If you have an arsenal of semi-automatic weapons and look at them every morning before going to work, you may want to consider a permanent vacation, and a new job.

But, if you pack up that arsenal and go to work with the intent of taking them all out, then it’s safe to say you’re anti-social.

If you feel the world just doesn’t get you, no one cares about what you want, or feel a general disconnect, than you may be looking through dirty, or even the wrong lens.

If you don’t have many friends and consider the ones you do have a special clique of smarter, funnier, cooler, or other us-against-the-world-so-screw-them adjective, you’re asocial.

If you’re too busy with work, school, kids, other obligations, or all of the above to hang out with friends and coworkers, then you just need to reprioritize and give yourself at least one day off a month (at the least).

If you think before you speak more often than not, don’t understand why you need to skydive tandem, and feel the 5 friends on your Fave list are enough for you, then you’re probably an introvert.

If meeting the idea of meeting new people or starting a new project in unfamiliar territory wakes up the butterflies in your stomach, then you’re probably shy.

Now that you’ve finished reading this, call your mother, or your best friend, or someone you haven’t spoken to in more than three days.

Social Health = Sexual Health?

Yes, apparently.

While there are articles and discussions on social wellness as a component of overall wellness encompassed by our interactions with others and our community on both a broad and small scale, social health appears to focus on just one area- Sexual Health.

I find that very curious as the word social is not synonymous with sexual, but the American Social Health Association and every other query seems to think so.

In any event, practice self-care when it comes to sexuality and awareness.

Don't engage in behaviors that compromise your values or have foreseeable negative consequences.

Have conversations with your partner(s) BEFORE you become sexually intimate and in a neutral space, where you can discuss your concerns and principles freely.

Protect yourself.

Why you should talk to strangers

When you're young, you're ruled more by impulse instead of instinct, so you're not always a good judge of character. I suppose that doesn't change for a lot of people as they grow into adulthood, but, I took a leap and got where I needed to be.

Big, Bad, New York City, home of the Brave, the Finest, and the Toughest, falls apart everytime there's a thunderstorm. The subways flooded today, leaving over 5 million people stranded and more crazed and stressed as they looked for alternate routes.

Many stayed home.

Why didn't I?

BIG THANKS to Justin! who let me share his cab, for free. If you ever read this and would like a private yoga party, I'm here!